If you think you have nothing to be proud about yourself, or if you think you aren’t enough, I might not know much about you, but I’d like to tell you, “You are wrong!”
I honestly believe that there’s no such thing as a human being that has nothing to be proud of.
Even if there was, that’s only true when that person believes that they aren’t enough, that they have nothing, and act on that belief – and actions based on that belief gradually created their reality.
Basically, people can be “not enough” only when they give up on themselves. Well, at least that’s what I believe.
So if you think you aren’t good enough, cool enough, pretty enough, whatever you may say, it’s you who decided to see yourself as someone “not enough”.
You might think I’m being naive or cheesy, so here I’d love to talk about what brought me to believe this way – so to speak, the proof.
“Queer Eye”, Netflix’s original reality show, could give you a whole different point of view – especially if you are Japanese.
If you haven’t watched this yet, I highly recommend that you should give it a try.
This show is about 5 gay guys called “Fab Five”, visit people all around the United States and give them makeovers.
People Fab Five gives makeovers are mostly nominated by their family or friends, who think they need some help – because they gave up on themselves in some way, and they stopped treating themselves right.
What I can’t emphasize enough is that this is not just another superficial, entertainment show about giving makeovers.
Each member of Fab Five is a specialist on their each field. About 5 important and crucial aspects about life, each of them make fabulous changes on a target person in each episode.
Here are the fab five guys and their specialties.
- Jonathan: Grooming
- Tan: Fashion
- Bobby : Design
- Antoni: Food and Wine
- Karamo : Culture
I think Karamo is the key which is making this show very special. When you hear that his specialty is “culture”, it may be hard to imagine what he does. Karamo is basically the specialist on people’s mind.
The other 4 guys treats visible aspects, but Karamo treats something invisible, something hidden inside our mind – such as experiences, emotions, thoughts, spirituals, and so forth.
Through having deep conversations with the target, Karamo learns about their fears, problems, hidden longings, past, present, future, and how they actually want to be. No matter how long it takes, he tries as much as he can to sincerely learn about each person, and think about what they need to make the change they want.
When it comes to how he change the target’s mind, he is very creative.
Depending on what they need, he gives them various experiences. Sometimes he simply takes time and talks to them. Sometimes he takes them to a gym to work out together. Other time he brings them to a lesson to learn how to play bass. If necessary, he even arranges a catch up with their long time enemy.
The biggest reason why I am obsessed with this show so much is because this is not just about making people look better, but more about learning together about what we all can do to feel better about ourselves.
It is not just Karamo who cares about inside – they all try to understand about each person they visit to give makeovers – who the are, what they want, and what they deserve. And they try to bring it to the surface, through visible things as hairstyle, fashion, interior design and food.
Those visual changes they give becomes the reminders for the targets – that they deserve the life they want, and they really can be who they want to be.
It takes a whole week to give each person a makeover, but it is not just about the one week they spend time together.
What they are doing through the week is making people who gave up on themselves for reasons – being too busy, lacking self-confidence, feeling lonely, having sad experiences, always prioritizing other people over themselves, and so on – remember and relearn how to believe in themselves, and how to take care of themselves.
Fab Five’s goal is not showing off their skills on their specialties, but giving people concrete and useful advice how they can make efforts to live happily by themselves, even after the week.
Hopefully you got some idea how amazing “Queer Eye” is. Now let’s move on to why I believe that everyone must have something they can be proud of themselves, by telling you what I learned – and I think we all should learn – from this show.
- Everyone is a badass in their way.
If you are thinking, “No, I’m not”, if you are thinking, “I have nothing to be proud of myself”, chances are it’s just how you see yourself, but not necessarily the truth.
And it could be also because there aren’t anyone around you who are good at finding what’s good about other people, including you, or even if there are, probably you just aren’t taking it seriously when thay say good things about you.
Fab Five is great at finding what’s good about other people. They are amazing at finding something they love about people they meet. Anyone they meet.
To be honest, not everyone who shows up to this show as a target doesn’t seem lovable. There are so many types of people on this show – a middle-aged man who’s still acting like a child, young boy who doesn’t have any friends around his age, a family having very lazy lifestyle with so much clutters, workaholics who forgot how to care about how they look or about romantic relationship.
Sometimes, it’s too hard for me to find things I like about them on the first impression.
However, Fab Five always finds what they love about these people, immediately after they meet. And, through the time and conversations they have together, they find more and more things they love about them – about their characteristics such as kindness, thoughtfulness, and grittiness, or about their appearances such as beautiful eyes, gorgeous hair, symmetric face shape, and so on.
And more importantly, they always say it out loud. Tell people what they like about them. They never hesitate giving compliments. It’s like they are celebrating the beauty of other people and feel happy for them.
Just seeing them being like that is simply empowering and healing. That’s the great reminder for me about how beautiful, kind, and warmhearted anyone – even the ones who didn’t seem special – actually can be.
They are so happy, open-minded, and positive, and that even changes people’s self-esteem, gradually. Even someone who used to deny the compliments given by Fab Five at the beginning, always end up taking them, admitting all the good things Fab Five said about them are true. Their good vive automatically makes others loosen their barriers. They easily open people’s mind and make them smile.
Their positive power changes me, too. Just by seeing them on the screen, even before I know, I gradually shift the way I see myself in more positive and kind way.
I start to think about small things I like about myself. I remember about compliments people gave me before, and think that I should just take them, rather than saying “No” and try to be humble. And I imagine what Fab Five would say about me if I could ever meet them… and that makes me feel so much better, even when I was feeling down.
- The person who you want to be is just hidden inside you.
It may seem like Fab Five visits ordinary people out of the blue, and give them beautiful gifts to make them feel special… but that is not the true.
What Fab Five gives them is not something completely new, but what have been hiding inside of them.
People have – whether they know it or not – wishes about what they really want to be like, and what they really want to do. But most of the time, we all turn down the wishes thinking, “But that’s not gonna happen to me”, “I can’t do it”, and ignore them.
What Fab Five is doing is making people acknowledge their wishes, and telling them that they can be who they want to be, that they can do what they want to do. And through fashion, skincare, makeup, hairstyle, interior design and food – they show them that their wishes can be the reality, just by shifting their way of thinking and making some efforts.
- Nothing can make you look more attractive than confidence.
Through the week with Fab Five, people really change.
Wearing the outfit Tan carefully selected, rocking the new hairstyle and makeup done by Jonathan, everyone look like the whole different person.
Every time after a makeover, even for someone I wasn’t really interested at the beginning of the episode, I feel so surprised like “Who is this?” “Never knew she was gorgeous like this!” “Had no idea that he was this handsome!”
Tan and Jonathan really have amazing skills to make the most of what each person originally has.
But not only that, how people act, behave, talk, and even how they smile, also change. And do you know what’s changing them? – Confidence.
Throughout the week with Fab Five, people are given time and opportunities to look back their past, understand more about themselves both about good things and bad things, and admit what they really want – and through the process, they gradually build the confidence. They learn – or relearn – how to love themselves, and take care of themselves.
And that’s what makes them look so much better, on top of the new outfits and gorgeous hairstyles.
(Swipe and check out the photos of this lady before and after the makeover!)
- Everyone has people on their side.
On this show, every time after Fab Five gives the makeovers, there are always people show up for the target person, and celebrate the “new me” together. Even for someone who believed that they were lonely, there are always people who show up and be truly happy for them.
Even if you think you are all alone, you are not. Chances are you just don’t realize that there are people who will be happy for you. Chances are you are simply not appreciating people around you enough.
Family, friends, partner, colleagues, neighbors, or even people on the street – there must be someone who will be happy for you, who will celebrate your happiness.
It’s very encouraging and inspiring to see people gradually gain confidence and change into better version of themselves through this show.
Even if that person doesn’t seem like someone you can ever relate, going through the process of understanding what they’ve been through, their problems, what sort of changes they want in their lives, and gradually changing the wishes into the reality – trust me, you will end up being a big fan of the person when the episode ends.
Seeing people who’s not a celebrity, who’s just living their not-so-special life somewhere in the United States, you will realize how beautiful each person can be in different ways – and so can you.
Possibly you may realize you are already so lucky to be surrounded by great people around you, to have pretty cool environments, and all you have to do is to understand yourself better, and start treating yourself better.
With that all being said, don’t you think you might also have something you should be proud about yourself?
Even if Fab Five doesn’t come to see you and gives you a fabulous makeover, you can start by yourself learning about yourself and believing in yourself. So in order to help you to start, I will leave some beautiful quotes from the Fab Five.
“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of it.” – Karamo
“How you take care of yourself is how the world sees you.” – Jonathan
“Every day I make sure my hair is done, I make sure I’m showered, I make sure I’m shaved. I want may partner to look at me and think I respect them enough to make an effort for them.” -Tan
“Present the best version of yourself, then be honest with other people. Stories don’t last. Only dedication, hard work, and responsibility. That’s what takes you far.” – Bobby
“Beauty is believing in yourself. It’s knowing you’re worth it.” – Karamo
“Beauty is when you’re connected with your own heart, you don’t need to explain anything to anyone, because you already know that you’re beautiful just the way you are.” – Jonathan
And I can’t be happier that the next four episodes of Queer Eye were filmed in Japan and are going to be available on Netflix in November!
I really believe Japan is the country which needs Fab Five’s openness and positivity the most! I hope this could broaden people’s perspectives – in the country where being same, quiet, humble is still highly evaluated. Can’t wait!
And while I was writing this, I saw the news that Jonathan Van Ness revealed that he was HIV positive, in his memoir “Over the Top”.
He’s trying to help other people by sharing the other side of him he never shared before, while Donald Trump’s administration keeps treating LGBT community unfairly.
Sending lots of love Jonathan! You’re my favorite member of Fab Five.