The previous post was about recognizing your inner voices that constantly make you feel down, and how you can change them. (You can find the post here if you’re interested! ->“Acknowledging Your Inner Voices and How You Can Change Them”) From my point of view, if you are worried too much about what other people are going to say about yourself or what you are passionately working on, just remember if there was anyone who actually said something like that to you, and chances are it was just you who always tells you those mean things.
Then, what if someone actually tells you negative things? What if someone asks you tons of questions, or worse, make fun of you after you decide to, or actually did start doing something you are passionate about?
Here are some tips from one of my favorite YouTuber Amy Landino about how you should take other people’s words and reactions in that situation and how you should handle them.
Let me briefly summary the part I especially loved in this video below.
People likes to talk, so if there’s something they can talk about, they will talk about it. It’s just natural.
So if there’s anything they can talk about you, people are going to talk about it.
But even if we know that, sometimes we just can’t help feeling uncomfortable when someone starts talking about what you do, especially if someone asks you like “How are you gonna do that?” “What about this?” “Okay you’re gonna do this, then what? What’s gonna happen next? ” when you’re still trying to figure out, you might feel more nervous or anxious, or even embarrassed, .
However , chances are they’re not necessarily trying to criticize you or beat you up, but just trying to understand.
And there might also be someone who says something like “Oh I know what you’re trying to do, you want to be like that person, right?” talking about someone famous who’s doing something looks similar but far different from what you are actually doing. You might feel they are making fun of you, but even they might be just trying to understand, relating you to some information that they already know.
Those cases are fine, you are probably over thinking of over reacting.
However, what if someone intentionally say mean things to you?
People are competitive at some certain level, so they are probably feeling that you are being a better version of yourself. Maybe, better than them. And they are trying to make you stay at where you are right now or where you used to be, by saying nasty comments and making you feel bad. The worst thing is, most of them does not even realize that they are doing so.
That’s a summary (maybe a little mixed with my own thoughts on that) of some part of this video.
In the previous post, I wrote that those mean words you are afraid if other people say to you, about yourself or what you do, are just your own words you created and keep repeating in your head, and they are not worth worrying.
And what she says in this video is, even what other people actually tell you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, or that harshly criticize you, are actually more about themselves. Their words are reflections of how they are feeling, what they are worrying about, and never the reality.
In the end of the day, the worry we often have about others opinions are not practical or helpful at all, so we should stop letting the worry keep us from what we really want to do.
And one more thing. Getting rid of those fears is quite a big thing. That’s not a easy thing to do. But it’s still just a small, very first step of your whole journey.
There are lots of great quotes from her videos that I would love to share, but this post is already too long, so maybe next time.