Shapes of Personalities – We are Uneven and Rugged So That We Can Connect

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From time to time, we experience days or even weeks when we can’t stop thinking about what we hate about ourselves. Sometimes it’s surprisingly easy to be trapped in a self-sabotage feelings and thoughts, but let’s not allow them to stop us. During that struggle, we should try as hard as we can to remind us of what we love about ourselves. Honestly, I have so many things I hate about myself. For example, I overthink. In my head, I often make a big deal out of nothing. I take things personal and too seriously, even when I already know that I am overreacting. I’m also the worst at small talks. I just can’t come up with short, casual and jokey conversation which I can make people enjoy. I know, these flaws are tricky and terrible. However on the other hand, I have some things I like about myself, even thought I often tend to forget. I’m always interested in other people, and I’m always trying to see who they really are, and understand them as much as I can. And as a result, it’s pretty easy for me to list good things and things I love and respect about people I meet. I also like my self-awareness. Sometimes thinking too much could work in a good way, because it helps me to understand what’s going on in my mind, and also in my life. (But whether I can respond to them in a good way… is a little different story, so I need to work on it harder I guess.) So yes, I have flaws, which can often make me feel miserable. But at the same time, I also have some things I like about myself, which makes me feel happy. And, that’s okay.   I feel most excited when things happen as a result of combining what each people is good at or is passionate about. And this could happen because we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Each of us is good and bad at different things. We have different experiences, interests, personalities and skills. We are different, and that’s beautiful – since we are different, we need to cooperate with each other, and as a result, great things may happen. I appreciate that each person is different, because our differences are the sources of possibilities.   Since when I was a child, or younger, I have often seen rankings in many situations: schools, exams, contests, competitions, and even something not directly related to us such as on TV shows or magazines. And we’ve often  been told to aim higher in those rankings so that we can be a success. It itself is not necessarily wrong, but it affected me even before I know, and I don’t know since when but I subconsciously believed that people are something that can be measured and ranked from the top to the bottom in a line. But that’s actually not the case at all. We are all unique, and people can never be measured by just one criteria. We cannot be ranked just like someone is better than someone.   If we could see our personalities visually, it may look like this; Things you don’t like about yourself, your flaws, your weaknesses are sunken, and things you love about yourself, your strength, something special about you are bumps, so each person is completely different in shapes. Since we all have different shapes of personalities, we can be combined and connected with others – just like puzzles. Just like toothed wheels start working together. Just like chemical reactions, or like magics. And that’s when exciting things happen.   Always try to find what’s good in other people, as much as you can. Maybe most people tend to forget how important to do so, and it’s really hard to find someone who’s actually always doing it. Maybe not everyone in your life tries to find what’s good in you. There would even be someone who tries to find your faults, and talks behind your back.   Even so, I do believe that we all should try as much as we can to look at what’s good about other people. We should at least try to find something you like about that person. Even if it’s easier to find what you don’t like. Why? That’s because – we can’t do anything alone. Since we can’t do anything alone, we need to connect, collaborate, and cooperate with others to make things happen – and if we connect with others with our positive aspects, such as what we are good at, what we love and passionate about, that’s when exciting things happen.   If you have something you are really bad at, that will eventually be okay because there will be someone who is good at it. And there will also be someone who are terrible at what you love and you are amazing at. We got to be different if we want to do something amazing. In other way, we can do something great because we are different.   We’re people. We have goods and bads, strength and weaknesses, confidence and insecurity. We’re good at something, and bad at something else. That’s just natural to anybody. If you just see flaws of others, you wouldn’t build a good relationship with that person. You wouldn’t even like that person. Instead, if you choose to see what’s good in people, that will give you opportunities to connect with them in constructive ways. You may realize what they are actually good at, and chances are you and that person can make things happen together. Even If not now, you might find an opportunity you will need that person in the future. It’s not that you have to like everyone in your life, but it’s more constructive if you know what that – not necessarily your favorite – person can do, your relation with him or her will be a lot better. Stresses may reduce even a little. In real life, we have to get along with anyone – whether you like it or not. If we focus on what you don’t like about others, life will be hard, stressful, and unsatisfactory. So focus on what you like about others. Even if you don’t actually like them, try to find something good in them. That’s freeing. That little shift of your perspective will change your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. You also can learn a lot from doing so. And, let me remind you once again, Sometimes we just can’t stop thinking about what we hate about ourselves. But at that moment, you also need to remember what you love about yourself. You may have flaws, but you also have something great. You may not be perfect, and that’s okay.


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