From time to time, something suddenly reminds me of someone I haven’t seen for a long time, who I used to spend a lot of time with in the past. You might also have some friends you used to hang out all the time, but now you don’t see each other as you used to do, or at all. From my experiences, in many cases, those things happen without any particular reason, and even before we know.
When something reminds you of your old friend you don’t see any more for no reason, you might start thinking like this:
“We used to spend a lot of time with, but why don’t we any more?”
“I used to go out more often, especially to that place, but why did I stop?”
Someone might say, “Life happened.”
We just get busy, or we somehow start to spend a little more time with other people. Or maybe we become more responsible for something, and our priority begins to change. Some of these changes happen very slowly, and some happens drastically and instantly. Either way, it’s hard for us to realize that’s happening.
It’s not like we don’t like that person, or that place any more. We just live our own lives, and so many things – big and small – happen along the way, and that gradually changes our relationships with people around us. If you like it or not, that happens sometimes, and we just can’t help it.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing though.
Since situations and environments change, we can meet new people. That could be when we experience unexpected and nice encounters. Those changes allow ourselves to change.
Even I understand that, when I think of the old friends, wondering how they have been and if they’re doing well, that’s when I realize that I don’t know anything about them now, and start to feel disappointed or sad. Trying to deal with those feelings, I came up with this idea:
If we spend time together, that means we give something to each other.
Something like gifts. Invisible presents.
Anything – or a part of anything – you have right now, may be a gift someone gave you before in your life, somewhere along the way you came to the point where you are today. It could be, something you like, your knowledge, how you see things, the way you think. It can also be some happy feelings you’ve experienced before. It of course can be some memories from fun days you spent together.
All of the nice gifts – every good things you received from people you met in your life – stay within you, and they’re always helping you.
I went to my very old friend’s wedding recently, and met some of my very old friends back in my home town. I was surprised how long I haven’t seen them and how little I know about them now. I almost started to feel sad that we don’t hang out anymore, and to regret that I was too lazy to keep in touch with them.
But maybe that’s not the right way to see that situation.
I was lucky enough to meet them, and to spend some time together, and we gave some invisible gifts to each other. We don’t really know what we gave or received, but we did for sure…. It doesn’t matter if it was a small or big one.
That’s something I should be grateful, not sad, or confused.
When we spend time with someone, whether it’s for a long or short time, we give something to each other…. and after a while, we go our own ways. Maybe we go the same direction. Or maybe we go separate ways. We never know.
If our paths cross again somewhere someday, that’s wonderful.
So….there’s a new question. Who are we spending time with now?