From time to time, I am lucky enough to have someone who find myself or whatever I’m working on somehow good, and tell me how much they like it, or how fascinated they are about it. I swear that it’s really rare. But these things happen sometimes. And every time it happens, I am very very surprised… I’ll never get used it.
Even if it’s what you decided to do with a great motivation, you might often start doubting about your self, or even questioning why you started in the first place, along the way.
When you’re caught up with your negative thoughts, those encouraging words and compliments from others can pick up every pieces of your dark thoughts scattered about on your mind, and surprisingly and kindly melt them away.
However, whenever someone says nice things about me, I just can’t help being like
“No, I’m still on my way trying, I’m not good enough yet.” or, “I don’t deserve your compliment!” or, “Ah, that person says that just because they’re being nice and kind!”
What a waste.
These days I finally came to realize that I just need to take those nice words as compliments, and just say “Thank you.”
The reason why I always feel like I don’t deserve those compliments or encouragements, might be something I always believe deep inside; “This person might really like what I’m doing or who I am, but there must be others who hates me or who harshly criticize about what I’m trying to do.”
But, who are they, really? Who are those mean people? And I realize…
It’s me. It has always been me.
Those mean phrases you got used to hear are, most of the time, merely your inner voices you’ve always been telling yourself. It’s just what you imagined in your head. Still not sure? Then think about this; have anyone actually told you that, in your face?
I bet your answer is; not really.
You might realize that nobody actually threw those mean phrases at you, but somehow you always believed someone did.
Of course there’s nobody, because it was always YOU. Your insecurities and your fears turned into a negative inner voices even before you knew, and they keep repeating inside your head. Again, what a waste! But honestly, I have no idea what I can do about it. The only solution I can come up with so far is that you should constantly ask yourself “Really? Who exactly did tell you that?” and keep reminding yourself that it is just your imagination that’s constantly turning you down, not anyone or anything else.
And also, I found a blog post that suggests you simple three ways to change your inner voices. (I didn’t find the article itself, but it was read on my favorite podcast show “Optimal Living Daily”, which introduces motivational blog posts.)
What the author suggests here are:
1. Write down the negative story you are telling yourself and recognize them.
It doesn’t matter if the story is true or not, but write everything down anyway. Even if you don’t want to admit that’s what you’re feeling, just write and recognize them.
2.Create a children’s book.
Children’s book’s best seller contains 30 positive phrases. Rewrite your story with simple, positive, and encouraging words that you want to let children listen.
3.Read the new story to you, and repeat, and repeat.
Read your new positive story to you repeatedly so that your mind can install them.
Well, these steps sound amazing but at the same time, it might take some effort to actually do them. Just for now I’m not creating a book, but it tells how important to tell you a new story, and how much it requires your effort to make you believe them.
Anyway, I didn’t know that children’s book contains that many positive phrases, and it is a very interesting fact! I’m definitely going to a book store and check that this weekend.
I didn’t know this before, but now I’m very sure that we all should stop letting ourselves turns you down by our own stories. In order to stop that, we need to shut ourselves up, and let us listen only to whatever that leads us towards our goals.